Living with an autoimmune disease is like navigating a world where your normal doesn’t match anyone else’s. What feels like a fine day to you—where you can get out of bed, make breakfast, and maybe run a quick errand—might feel like barely surviving to someone without chronic illness.

For those who don’t experience autoimmune challenges, it’s hard to imagine how much effort goes into appearing functional while your body is waging an invisible battle against itself. But for those of us in the autoimmune community, this struggle is a daily reality—one we quietly push through because we’ve learned to live in a state of constant adaptation.

Let’s talk about what it really means to be “fine” when living with an autoimmune disease—and why that word often hides the real story.

Redefining “Fine” with Autoimmunity
For most people, saying “I’m fine” means they’re feeling good, maybe even great. For someone with an autoimmune condition, “fine” often means:

• I made it out of bed today, so that’s a win.
• My pain is manageable enough that I can think straight.
• I have enough energy to do one thing—but after that, I’ll need to rest.
• I don’t look sick right now, so I can get through this conversation without explaining myself.

It’s not a lie—it’s just a simplified answer that spares us from having to justify how we’re feeling or prove that our struggles are real.

The Hidden Battle Behind “Fine”
What people don’t see is the amount of energy, planning, and sacrifice that goes into achieving what looks like normalcy.

• Pain That Doesn’t Show: Chronic joint pain, muscle aches, or nerve discomfort can make even simple tasks like brushing your hair or standing in line at the grocery store feel draining.
• Brain Fog and Fatigue: On the outside, you might look alert, but inside, it can feel like you’re fighting through quicksand to keep up with conversations or follow directions.
• Dietary Restrictions: Avoiding triggers means sticking to strict diets, often requiring meal prep and label-reading that others don’t think twice about.
• Unpredictable Symptoms: You can wake up feeling okay, but by midday, exhaustion might hit like a brick wall, leaving you struggling to finish what you started.
• Medication and Treatments: From managing side effects to sticking to supplements, therapies, and appointments, maintaining health becomes a part-time job.

Even on days when the symptoms are quieter, the mental load never disappears. You’re constantly monitoring how your body feels, adjusting plans, and preparing for the possibility of a flare-up.

The Emotional Side of “Fine”
Autoimmune diseases don’t just affect the body—they take a toll on the mind and spirit as well.

• Frustration: It’s hard to accept that your body doesn’t always cooperate with your plans.
• Isolation: It’s easier to say “I’m fine” than explain why you had to cancel plans or leave early.
• Guilt: Feeling like a burden when you can’t contribute the way you want to—at work, at home, or with friends.
• Anxiety: Worrying about whether today’s energy will last, whether tomorrow will be worse, or whether people believe how hard you’re trying.
• Sadness: Grieving the parts of your life you’ve had to give up or adjust because your body can’t keep up.

The emotional weight of autoimmunity is just as exhausting as the physical symptoms. And yet, most of us have learned to mask it, not because we want to hide, but because we need to keep going.

Why Support Matters
One of the hardest things about autoimmune diseases is that they’re often invisible. You don’t always look sick, so people assume you’re fine—and sometimes, they even question whether you’re really struggling at all.

What we wish others knew:

• We’re not lazy—we’re pacing ourselves to prevent flare-ups.
• Cancelling plans doesn’t mean we don’t care—it means we’re protecting our health.
• We’re not being overly dramatic about our diet or routine—it’s how we survive without worsening symptoms.
• Even when we look “normal,” we may be fighting pain, fatigue, or brain fog that’s invisible to the outside world.

Having people who understand, listen, and offer support—even in simple ways—makes a huge difference. Whether it’s checking in, helping with tasks, or just believing what we say about how we’re feeling, compassion helps ease the burden we carry.

Building a New Definition of “Fine”
Instead of comparing ourselves to what’s “normal” for others, those with autoimmune diseases often have to redefine what success and well-being look like:

• Some days, success is getting through the day without needing a nap.
• Other days, it’s cooking a meal from scratch or finishing a work project.
• And sometimes, it’s simply knowing when to rest instead of pushing through exhaustion.

Living with autoimmunity means celebrating the small victories and learning to give ourselves grace when our bodies need extra care.

Be Kind to Yourself and Others
To anyone living with autoimmunity, remember this: Your effort counts, even when it feels like you’re just getting by. You’re not weak for needing rest or for setting boundaries—you’re strong for showing up every day, even when your body makes it harder than it should be.

And for those who don’t live with autoimmunity but know someone who does—offer your understanding. It might not seem like much, but a little patience and compassion can go a long way in making us feel supported rather than judged.

Living with autoimmunity is a journey, not a sprint. Some days we soar, and some days we crawl—but every step forward is a victory.